A gem from Brian Walker, this is based upon the bill poster on display outside
   that most haunted of taverns, Scream Inn. Here's the spiel, in detail:


   ONE MILLION POUNDS!

   To anyone who dare to stay all of ye night in ye haunted bedroom at Scream Inn

   Six feet below sea-level, Scream Inn stands in its own swamp, overlooking ye
   Murky Mire, guaranteeing foul odours day & night. All rooms warranted damp, 
   dark & diabolical, with hot & cold clammy hands laid on. We provide gloom
   service, central haunting & a whine cellar. Secret passages, creaking doors,
   cobwebs, reptiles & deathwatch beetle inclusive. All mattresses stuffed with
   best vulture feathers. Bed & breakfast at frightening prices.

   Under the direct supervision of The Innkeeper, the supernatural staff of spooks,
   ghouls, witches, zombies, devils & phantoms will strike terror into the stoutest
   heart. Daracula Diners Club & Vampire Luncheon Vouchers accepted.

   ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE!
   HEH, HEH AND HEH AGAIN!



 
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